No Pump Left Behind

September 1,2005
As I post this every station in town
has raised their price today to $3.35
per gallon.Thank you mister Bush
and your Arab buddies.
MUTTBOB

No Pump Left Behind: "NPLB*
Proclaimed a HUGE Success!
*NPLB = No Pump Left Behind
Volume III, Number 5, May, 2005


The BUSH administration announced with
pride today the results of its program to
produce skyrocketing gas prices at every
gas pump across the land."

"Unlike the principals and teachers of this nation
who have been unable to lift the scores of all
children so that all read above average, we have
had 100 per cent success."

"According to our data, every American family
can now count on paying inflated gas prices no
matter what station they visit and no matter what
pump they select."

"Several years ago folks doubted that we could
achieve such sweeping change in the life of
citizens, but we have proven them wrong."

Recent studies have challenged whether the
educational program has delivered on its promises,
but no one has expressed any doubts regarding
the gas price elevation strategies of this administration.

The President was a bit smug when asked
about his gasoline price achievements. It
became clear that the country could trust
him to maintain the policies that had led
to such high prices.

Jamie McKenzie